TEXTURE

Having stretched a canvas, I had a feeling that I needed to create texture to represent these scars and wounds, and the ups and downs of life. I used a filler and water mix with some trowels (and a cafeteria fork) to create grooves and marks. The outcome was good, although it did start to crumble away due to the water content. Just picking up or moving the canvas caused bits to drop off. Quite poetic in a way, especially given my theme, but actually not what I wanted.

FAILURE - I tried not to be disheartened by this failed attempt, and wondered if I could 'heal' it by painting over it.

I used bright colours and worked freely within the grooves and texture of the painting. I then added a white-wash over the top. This had a similar feeling to the paper scrunch painting I had created before.

The paint and colours represented the literal and metaphorical patching up and starting a fresh, over and over again, with the ghost of your past still visible in places.

LIKES - The texture, the colours.

DISLIKES - The piece itself, for some reason it just didn't sit right with me or work for what I was trying to achieve. I decided to shelve this work and move on.

CANVAS

I felt a little blocked, or even scared embarking on this project! After so long out of education and having spent so many years being dictated to by the brief of my clients in my graphic design work I found it difficult where to start. I decided to stretch a canvas to encourage myself to paint and create something free.

This process alone is nostalgic and satisfying for me, and it did spark some creativity.

CREATION

Following on from my theme of healing, I began thinking about SCARS. The little pieces of you that are never the same after a traumatic incident, be it physically or emotionally. You always carry a piece of your trauma with you, whether it manifests as an actual scar or an emotional complex. I had the idea to scrunch up some paper and paint very freely with different coloured inks, representing all the incidents and hurt that can accumulate over a lifetime. The screwed up ball represents an emotional or physical state of hurt/brokenness. When it dried I opened it up to reveal these patches and rivers of colour, leaving the white pieces that were shielded untouched and clean.

This also reminded me of the ink-blot pictures you often see shown in the movies to mental patients or disturbed serial killers to interpret their emotions.

I really liked the texture of the work and the colours. However I am always drawn to less abstract work especially TEXT based work. I wondered how I could incorporate the 2.